It really is true that language development begins at day 1. Actually, it begins even prior to this, when that baby hears the vibrations of mom’s voice from inside the womb. He knows how when her voice raises in anger or fear, her heart rate rises as well. And conversely, he knows the hum of her soft voice when she’s singing a lullaby to that big belly, and associates it with the thrum of a steady heartbeat and even a rocking motion. In the context of the womb, he knows a voice for the safety or danger it communicates.
Babies’ little brains are capable of a lot more than we realize, so it’s important that we challenge them appropriately. One of the greatest ways that we can do this is—you guessed it—talking to your baby.
How to talk to a baby
So how exactly are you supposed to talk to your baby? In the early days, you may not get much back, but actually babies even just a few hours old are able to start mimicking facial expressions, and may even stick a tongue out at you if you do it first (Meltzoff, 1983)! As a baby gets older (2-3+ months), you’ll hear more cooing and gooing. But even if baby is not “talking” back, they are soaking in what you’re saying, your body language and expressions, and the intonation of your voice. It may feel silly but keep up with it, as this activity is proven to pay off down the road!
1.) When you talk to your baby, make sure you’re face to face and that they can clearly see your mouth moving and smiling.
2.) When you speak, give them a pause as an opportunity for them to respond, just as with normal communication with someone.
3.) Make sure and respond to every little sound that they make. Pretend it’s the most important thing you’ve heard all day!
4.) Talk about anything and everything, and use different inflections and pitches and tones. Mother-ese or that soft, sing-song voice, is often instinctual when talking to your little one. It is of great benefit too, and has a distinct biological purpose: the drawn out syllables with exaggerated vowel sounds actually allows a child to better distinguish between speech sounds.
5.) Songs are incredible tools too, and in addition to the language benefits, the hum of mom’s voice is very regulatory for their little nervous systems and communicates feelings of safety. Associating messages with song is one of the greatest ways to leave imprints of ideas on a young mind for potentially a lifetime.
Brief note on environment
Ideally you will be in a relatively quiet environment with no background noise that can make it difficult to localize sound or distinguish noises from one another. It should be very clear to baby that the sound is coming from you. It’s actually good practice to turn off background television and music/toys, etc. for adequate periods throughout the day so that the baby can learn to differentiate sounds better.
Every conversation counts
It’s not just a wishful thinking kind of deal that these early language exposures lead to improved speech outcomes later into toddlerhood. In Pediatrics, Caskey’s 2014 study discusses:
“Increased amount of parent talk with preterm infants in the NICU was associated with higher 7- and 18-month corrected age Bayley-III language and cognitive scores. These findings offer an opportunity for language intervention starting in the NICU.”
This is incredible that something so simple can have such profound effects! Just remember this even when it seems like the wheels aren’t really turning when you’re talking to your little one (and if you’re feeling kind of silly). And regardless of language outcomes, I’m sure you’ll never regret the bonding that this simple practice facilitated between the two of you.
Cues for a break
Baby is not always ready to interact. In the NICU, this overstimulation is actually one of the biggest triggers for setting them off on an episode of instability in heart rate, blood pressure, etc., which is why having a calm, quiet environment in NICU is important. But even non-medically complex babies need breaks. Avoidance of or breaking eye contact means that they need a time-out and might be overstimulated, just as you might find yourself overstimulated at a busy party. These cues are important to watch for because unnoticed, they can escalate to baby feeling very dysregulated and resulting in crying. Often moms will think that their baby just does not like them, but that is so far from the truth. They just missed their cues, since a baby cannot so directly tell us when they are feeling overwhelmed! Too much noise, too much eye contact (yes, this can be very overstimulating), or just getting tired can all be reasons a baby disengages. And this is not bad—it is normal, and we have to respect their hints.
Example of baby speak
Baby-“goo”
Mom-“ohmygoodness is that right?! I can’t believe that!
Baby-continues cooing
Mom- “Wow, that is really something! It sounds like you’ve had a pretty crazy day!”
Interaction continues back and forth with mom pausing at intervals for baby to speak.
Baby-looks away and starts fidgeting
Mom, receptive to cues, stops conversing and picks up baby to soothe, getting ready for nap, diaper, etc.
Other ways to foster connection
When you’re conversing with your little one, pair it with gentle touch and stroking to increase sensory pathways for social boding as well as feelings of safety. Many of these nurturing behaviors already come so naturally that it almost feels silly to say them. But just lean into those instincts because they really are hardwired to serve a purpose far more complex that what we can see at the surface level!
A quick note on postpartum mood disorders: with PPD or PPA, even the simple act of joyfully talking to your baby can be so much more difficult to muster up the desire for. Though it won’t be overnight, even going through the motions of these basics can help promote connection and bonding with your baby, even if it really seems forced for awhile.
As always, reach out to your local early intervention programs to have your child evaluated if you have concerns with language development. Or schedule a wellness consultation with us to do a quick check-in of milestones and learn play-based strategies to promote connection and optimize developmental outcomes.
